Proactive about Pronouns
Today is International #PronounsDay To find out more check out our new GFR blog where Hilary shares some of their thoughts around the use of pronouns. You can also find out more by having a look here:
At the simplest level, pronouns are used instead of a noun, to avoid repeating the same noun over again. They are something you likely use every day without thinking about them; he, she, they, and it* are amongst the most common.
You’ve maybe heard people introducing themselves by saying
“my name is ____ and my pronouns are ____”.
Common notation for pronouns would be he/him; she/her or they/them. **
Most people don’t think much about the pronouns that they use, and assume everyone else will ‘just know’ which ones to use. Yes, a lot of the time people will get it correct, but as anyone with an unusual, or neutral name will be quick to tell you, it is not always that simple! Assumptions rely heavily on society’s binary gender stereotypes and are not always correct; something of particular relevance for trans, non-binary or gender non-conforming folk.
Sharing pronouns is a simple, quick way to allow people to feel included and welcomed. It normalises pronouns whilst also actively demonstrating LGBT+ inclusion. Not to mention how amazing it can make someone feel to have the correct pronouns used. If you’re not sure how to refer to someone, ask! Most folk will appreciate it.
However, sharing pronouns shouldn’t be forced. It can actually make some people more uncomfortable, which defeats the purpose. However, if you are cisgender (meaning your gender identity aligns with that which was assigned at birth) I would ask you to consider reasons for not sharing them. It it is ‘because everyone will know I’m a man/woman’ then, I’d kindly request you to consider your privilege associated with that.
On a similar vein, if you get a pronoun wrong and misgender someone, try not to make a big deal out of it. Correct/briefly apologise as appropriate and move on. Profuse apologies actually draw more attention to it and just makes it an uncomfortable situation for everyone involved.
*. Note: ‘it’ is fine for objects, but it would usually be considered extremely disrespectful to use this for a person, even if you do not know what pronouns the person uses.
** There are a number of other pronouns, known collectively as neopronouns which fill gaps in language, especially in languages where all third person pronouns are gendered. Examples would be ze/hir/hirs; xe/xem/xir.